I woke up sad, missing my home and the country I love, Israel. I woke up longing for those sweet moments I so often experienced, like walking the streets of Tel Aviv and hearing the sounds of children laughing. Will those sounds ever return? I miss the walks we take on Shabbat morning along the beach, where Israelis of every age delight in the gift of sun and sea. 

Deborah and I are fortunate in so many ways. We have means, health, flexibility, and, most of all, ourselves and our love. Our children are not serving on the southern or northern front. We have not lost anyone in the brutal acts of October 7th. We do not know anyone who has been taken to Gaza as hostage by those who have proven to be devoid of humanity. So, I am writing this not to complain but to share some of my emotions.

I am sharing my feeling of loss: It is the loss of my dreams, not only for myself but for my dream for Israel. The dream that one day, we Jews would finally be safe. That what we experienced in the holocaust would never happen again. Now, I fear that it is possible once more. Israel is under attack; instead of Germans, it is Islamic terrorists and their state supporters like Iran. They may seek to destroy Israel and kill the Jews they despise, and also kill many other Arabs. Perhaps Joe Biden and the USA can prevent that from happening. Biden, thankfully, has proven himself a much better man than Roosevelt was, at least concerning protecting Jews.  

I see the protests against Israel and Jews worldwide, and I cry. Protest that ignores the butchery and savagery of Hamas and singles out the Israelis as the cause of all the hardship. Protest that ignores the corruption of the Palestinian Leadership but lays the blame on Israel and the Jews.  

I do not defend the actions of Israeli settlers and much of the policies of the Israeli government concerning the treatment of Palestinians. I have longed for peace between Israel and Palestinians and have tried to improve the situation positively. But I believe Israel is a Jewish nation, the only Jewish nation in the world. Israel is less than 0.3% of the land of the Middle East, and its population is less than 2%of the Middle East. But nearly half of all Jews live in this tiny part of the world. The Jewish population has still not recovered from the holocaust, while the world population increased by 2.5 times, and the Arab population grew five times.

I am sad thinking of all the innocent people, especially the children in Gaza, who will be hurt or killed in the coming days. I can understand the rage at Israel for this, but I do not understand the lack of rage against Hamas for creating this situation where Israel has no choice but to take out the leadership of Hamas. Ask yourself, what would your country do if it had been attacked in the way that Hamas attacked Israel? I wish there were another way. The only way would be for Arab countries to take responsibility and save the population, but they will not do that. Instead, they will threaten the destruction of Israel rather than take in one Palestinian child.  

I am sad that, once again, Jews must hide their identities. I am very aware of that in London, where we live temporarily. Imagine that you can not speak to your children in their native language because someone who overhears them might seek to commit violence and even murder if they knew you were Israeli or even a Jew.  

I wish I was religious and could pray that God would protect the Jewish people. As useless as I think it is, prayer still gives people some hope. I am searching for my hope myself but have not found it.