The months since October 7, 2023 have changed something in the world as well as something in me.
The barbaric attack by Hamas on Israeli civilians shook Israel to its core. Families murdered. Women assaulted. Hundreds taken hostage. I spoke almost daily with friends in Israel. The grief in their voices was raw. The fear was real. The anger was overwhelming. I felt it too.
What followed was a war that has devastated Gaza. Entire neighborhoods destroyed. Tens of thousands killed. Images of injured and displaced children broadcast across the world. As the war unfolded, something else happened. The world polarized.
Israel was condemned in capitals and on campuses. Protesters filled streets in Europe and America. In some places, criticism of policy blurred into something darker hostility toward Jews as Jews. Antisemitism reared its ugly head once again. Jewish communities far from the battlefield were treated as extensions of a government they did not elect and may not support. I found myself reacting defensively.
When people accused Israel of genocide, I rejected the claim. Words matter. Genocide has a definition. I do not believe this war, however tragic, meets it.
Some spoke as if October 7 had not happened. In some cases, that it was even justified. Hamas targeted civilians deliberately and in the most despicable ways. It knew Israel would respond militarily. It knew civilians in Gaza would suffer. It prepared for both the military confrontation and the public relations battle. Israel was prepared for one of those and not the other. I disagreed with aspects of how the Israeli government handled the war. But I understood the trauma that shaped its response.
Then somewhere in the outrage, the arguments, and the rising antisemitism, something shifted inside me. I stopped being empathetic.
I still felt deeply for Israelis. I felt anguish for the hostages and their families. But when I saw images of children in Gaza, injured, frightened, displaced, I noticed something unsettling. I felt little to nothing. That realization disturbed me more than any argument on social media ever could.
Half of Gaza’s population is children. They did not plan October 7. They did not choose Hamas. They did not vote for war. They were simply born into a geography and a history they did not create.
I do not believe Israel has deliberately targeted children. I believe Hamas bears responsibility for embedding itself among civilians and turning Gaza into a battlefield. I can hold those beliefs firmly. But I also came to see that my anger and the surge of antisemitism in response to the war had narrowed my empathy. That is not who I want to be. That is not who I am.
One of the things I value most about being Jewish is our insistence on moral responsibility. Our history does not grant us immunity from empathy; it demands more of it. If hatred directed at Jews makes me incapable of mourning Palestinian children, then hatred has taken something from me, something essential to my Jewishness.
I refuse to allow that.
I can reject antisemitism.
I can reject simplistic accusations.
I can disagree with the Israeli government.
I can condemn Hamas.
But I can still grieve for the children of Gaza.
The world is becoming more polarized. Nuance is treated as betrayal. Empathy is framed as weakness. We are encouraged to choose a side and surrender the rest of our humanity to that cause.
I will not allow antisemitism to harden my heart.
I will not allow anger to silence compassion.
I will not allow war to strip away the values I hold dear.
The victims of October 7 deserve mourning. The people of Israel deserve security.
The children of Gaza deserve a future.
So I reclaim my humanity.
Two Thirds Done 
Very well-written article. I can relate but could not have put my thoughts into words as well as you have.
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Thanks Jesse. It was not easy to write. As I was doing that I could feel the painful knowledge swell up in me knowing that those innocent children would be raised to hate us.
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Very well written and expressed Avram. I agree with and fully embrace your comments as they very closely mirror my own. Am Yisrael Chai, and may the Palestinian children have a better future with peace.
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It is hard for me to imagine any reasonable person disagreeing with your thoughtful essay. The Gaza/Israel history is complex but as your last sentence implies, all parties should be focused on the future, not the past.
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Hi Avram-
Glad to hear from you. Hope your health is good.
Israel’s recent victories are astonishing. Israel had to win over its enemies or abandon Israel. And Israel has won decisively.
That is good not only for Israel, but also for US and Europe. Really pretty much the entire world.
All the best. Tom Willis ________________________________
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Thanks Avram. I’m usually two or three posts behind so I am just catching up to this one, but I find it incredibly thoughtful, heartfelt, honest and one of the best distillations of what it is to be Jewish in this time.
To see the antisemitism in the world and not know where to turn, to feel the anger and hatred towards Hamas and their inhumanity, but to also reject the reactionary tendencies of so many in justifying what Israel has done and is doing to the people of Gaza. Indeed, that is to be fully human.
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Thanks Anthony. I guess it is a test that I hope we will all pass.
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I agree, Avram. Your sentiment and insight echo Golda Meir’s famous quote.
I would add that one can also agree with the Israeli government and with it’s decisions, and still mourn innocent loss of life.
I especially concur with what you wrote about Hamas knowing that Israel would react militarily. Indeed, they wanted Israel to react brutally. That’s why they drugged up the Hamas fighters who infiltrated Israel. So they would be as barbaric as possible. Survivors reported their strange hysterical laughter while they raped and murdered. They were on drugs and filled with vile hatred. They slaughtered the peace makers. That’s the truth.But, it wasn’t just Hamas who knew what Israel’s response would be. It was the IRGC and Qatar, and all the Zionophobes who have wrongly, accused Israel of genocide, for decades. On Oct 8th, before Israel had even counted their dead, the Zionophobes had press releases ready already accusing Israel of genocide. The truth always comes out. Now of course, Hamas reports 50K of the 70K dead were Hamas soldiers, whose wives have asked for financial support. Not a genocide. The lowest civilian to combatant ratio in the history of war. Now Doctors without Borders admits to Hamas being in control of (housed) within Gaza hospitals. On and on.Of course the children are victims. And it is only right to feel empathy for them. The more empathy I feel for them, the more I condemn both Hamas AND regular Gazans. Kidnap victims report that they were held in homes and hospitals. Hardly innocent, unless you consider the whole of Gaza to be held hostage to an Antisemetic, Zionaphobic ideology. Meant to line the pockets of their totalitarian, terrorist leadership. All the world is a stage, said Shakespeare. And Gaza is the backlot of the most cynical storytellers.And now we have this: https://x.com/elderofziyon/status/2023595965119103148?s=20The new Palestinian Authority Constitution, (co-authored by France) which make peace with Israel, illegal.
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Thank you for your very thoughtful comments which I fully endorse.
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typo: 70K dead, not $70K… I’m certain they get far more than $1 per person sacrificed… (not to joke, but, I hate that I can’t edit that typo. )
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Thanks. I fixed it.
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Avram, thank you for this thoughtful, precise and human description of two tragedies. My two Jewish grandchildren will only have a bright future when everyone understands your description and acts accordingly.
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Avram – always adore the deep humanity and self-awareness in your writing. We ALL lose – particularly our children – if no-one is willing to do deep introspection on complex topics like this one.
I had an illuminating “discussion” with my teen daughters this weekend about recognizing the world requires us to appreciate nuance, rather than fall into simplistic tropes of black & white, good & evil, right & wrong. Context is everything and everyones context will differ. For a generation growing up on simplistic 10 second video messages with binary, “hot takes” on complex topics like geopolitics, religion, self-determination, history et al, I fear that introspection, objectivity and rigorous debate will be lost skills…like penmanship.
Thank you for your ability to embrace an intellectual duality whilst not losing your humanity and empathy.
Hugs from Toronto
Hilton
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Thank you Hilton. I very much appreciate your words. It is difficult these days not to slide down the chute of intolerance and dived but we must resist if we are to maintain our humanity.
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